Thursday, October 7, 2010

Hovering Questions



Life poses you with a lot of questions.Everyone faces one question or the other everyday.I have been traveling a lot round the city these days and happened to meet a lot of people,some good some bad...well lets say with all sorts of people.A little bit of chit chat and we would be immersed into various topics..life in general,politics sports(my favorite) etc.What I would like to jot down here are some of of the most thought provoking and ridiculous questions which I came across in recent times.Obviously we never came to a conclusion for any of these questions.Friends if any one of you have any answer to the below questions please feel free to share it across the board.

1.Suppose you are taking far more interest in your hobbies or say a particular hobby compared to the time and "diligent"energy spent on your work does that really mean you have taken a wring decision in your life?

2.This is definitely on top of the heap when it comes to ridiculous questions.This one comes from a guy who is committed actually but still never misses a heart beat to flirt with any lovely vixen out there.DO GOOD SMELLING GIRLS TURN OUT TO BE ACTUALLY GOOD???

3.Which is more painful....an irrevocable  fight with your best friend or with your partner(read love interest)

4.Why did God bless the fairer sex with the character of talkativeness(pleasse remember this is generalized and we are not talking of all girls per se)?

5, In this digital age when will communication over the world wide web like emails and chat overtake voice communication completely?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

An Office Conversation.



Well this is an interesting conversation that happened in office.I have changed the names for propriety issues but I can reveal one of the two people is me!You are the person who have to guess!!!The conversation starts with one of them listening to music with his Headphones on and singing loudly enough to disturb his colleague(who is working hard) enough to ping him on the office Communicator to address the issue.
The Following conversation happened between the two of them and how it culminated.So here it goes......


8:30 PM Jagdish Bhatia
yes the song is really good. sing it inside your heart
8:31 PM Arka Chatterjee
8:31 PM Jagdish Bhatia
8:31 PM Arka Chatterjee
sorry
come and slap me
shya!!!!!!
shame on me
in office
8:31 PM Jagdish Bhatia
sorry I wrongly said it
8:31 PM Arka Chatterjee
8:31 PM Jagdish Bhatia
leave me plsss
8:31 PM Arka Chatterjee
plzz
plzzzzzzzzzzz
8:31 PM Jagdish Bhatia
i will never open my mouth again
8:31 PM Arka Chatterjee
come and scold me
8:31 PM Jagdish Bhatia
I swear
8:31 PM Arka Chatterjee
how can you see a bad thing and keep quite
how
8:31 PM Jagdish Bhatia
8:32 PM Arka Chatterjee
this is why India is a 3rd world country
you never ever protest
when will we learn
8:32 PM Jagdish Bhatia
8:32 PM Arka Chatterjee
you should have come and slapped me for disturbing the entire floor
shame on you!!!!
I am really angry on you
never expected this
8:33 PM Jagdish Bhatia
i will slap myself now for disturbing you
8:33 PM Arka Chatterjee
that wont stop my singing
8:33 PM Jagdish Bhatia
You can sing and do whatever u want boss.
8:33 PM Arka Chatterjee
say sorry for not doing the correct thing
8:33 PM Jagdish Bhatia
its your second home
so do whatever u want
8:34 PM Arka Chatterjee
this is not my 2nd or 3rd home!!!
this is office
where I come to work
but I am not working but singing!!!!
8:34 PM Jagdish Bhatia
plss show me your legs I will fall over it
plss leave me
8:34 PM Arka Chatterjee
and you are pinging to report this serious matter
you should have slapped me
say sorry or come and slap me
do something
don’t sleep
8:35 PM Jagdish Bhatia
8:35 PM Arka Chatterjee
world will fly by you when you sleep
8:35 PM Jagdish Bhatia
8:35 PM Arka Chatterjee
Don’t cry...that wont melt me
8:35 PM Jagdish Bhatia
  ok I am running away
8:35 PM Arka Chatterjee
see...typical Indian mentality
running from truth
oh my god
what will happen to my country
8:36 PM Jagdish Bhatia
8:36 PM Arka Chatterjee
do you want to say something
don’t keep things inside
increases blood pressure
8:36 PM Jagdish Bhatia
ok
8:37 PM Arka Chatterjee
so say
say man
tell me
I am listening
8:37 PM Jagdish Bhatia
plss continue singing
8:37 PM Arka Chatterjee
ok sir, thanks .

Monday, September 13, 2010

Cinematic Addiction Part IV


Well a very good evening to all the Bloggers,surfers,dreamers,my friends and Well Wishers.
I am down with a severe bout of Monday "Evening" blues and I thought the best way to finish off my day(i have another 1 hour to kill) by writing another post in my not so popular blog and the easiest topic to write is movies.Or rather the movies I have being watching over the last few days. So here goes another set of movies ,search through them if you have time and enjoy life!!!!

1)Borat:Well what can I say ,this was a highly recommended movie.It turned out to be funny but not as much I had thought.Maybe a direct insult towards a country is something I cannot appreciate.Lots of foul language punctuated with graphic nudity and some really col one liners define this movie for me.Not sure I would recommend it to someone.

2)Moon:Yet another Brilliant independent British small Budget movie.What a concept!what a thrill! what surprises which left me gasping for more,do grab a copy and watch it...definitely one not to be missed.

3)The Expendables:Now this movie was a huge hyped one and finally my friend dragged me to the multiplex to watch.Strictly OK fare,action sequences are good but too much at the end for my personal taste.If you are an action movie buff go for it but effects are better seen in a Movie Theater than a Cam Ripped version in your home desktop.

4)Macgruber:A satirical look at all the movies of recon missions and navy seals.Funny in parts but not good in totality.I still do not know why I watched it but just managed to get through it by simply browsing through it!!!!

5)Hot Fuzz:Another enjoyable British comedy from the makers of Shaun of the dead.One should learn how to create humor and comedy even when you are dead serious from theis Brits.Hollywood learn from them!!!!This spoof is surely a dekho!!!!

Well I could go on and on and on but I restrain myself for the time being.Enjoy your time watching movies(any one of your choice)and chill out.Sometimes life can be taken a little lightly!!!  

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Swamiji is back!!!



Well many people were asking what happened to my Guruji our very own reverend Swami Pallnanda.Actually me myself have been a bit of a busy bee lately these days and did not have a chance to go off and meet him at his sacred lair.But having endured mental stress recently I finally canceled some already planned program and hitch-hiked my way to meet Swamiji.Unlike other days the hermit was a tad quiet that day, Wonder if his popularity had been on the wane at present.But one thing I can definitely vouch for is that his personality and charisma is definitely on the upswing.He was in quite a jovial mood and the meeting helped me a lot.Well as always i would like to share with all of the people out there some of the unique thoughts Swamiji conveyed.

*Over dependence on any habit is an addiction.Understand that!
*Your sickness/disability is not an open gateway for others' sympathy.Do not take undue advantage of the innocent souls around you.
*This is something everyone must have heard but Swamiji reiterated it me again---You can lie to the entire world but not to yourself.This is the best way to judge the actions you have taken.Meybe after doing something you publicly say that you have acted as a savior but if there is a hint of doubt in your soul you know you are the criminal per se.
*Inhibitions tie you down like nothing else.Shed them as soon as possible.Just because you are matured does not mean you cannot watch cartoons like a kid.Go ahead ..treat yourself!!!

Well I must be a Gonna now as I have lots of work to catch.Till my next visit you people sit tight and enjoy the match --that is Life!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Thoughts deep down



Today is a Monday.Not sure from what--illness related weakness or Monday morning blues I decided to call it a day or in more simpler language took a day off from office.My mouth seems tasteless from the antibiotics and other tablets I have been taking to get rid of the niggling fever which has been disturbing me for the last 3-4 days.Wish me luck in this particular boring endeavor.When I started to blog on a regular basis I never had much expectation that some of you might be actually reading into the myriad thoughts( read garbage) that I would be spreading into the already crowded and dirty universe of blogging,but it seems quite a few souls do actually take out their time and read what trash I had been throwing out.My sincere and genuine thanks to all of them.May you get all the happiness and peace you people crave for( ok ok I know that was bit sermon -ic!!!)
Ever since from the starting of last month I have developed a habit of being high every weekend.Now I am not a bit apologetic of not being a teetotaler but as my Mom used to say never ever be a slave to any thing...that will kill you.Those words must be heavy since she spoke a long time back but I still remember that day crystal clear.The Problem is that if I want I can surely abstain myself from alcohol for more than a weekend but somehow the thought that I have been drinking every Saturday is hurting me now.AND I DO NOT KNOW WHY.All my friends and philosophers if you know the answer do let me know.Does a person really become a drunkard if he/she drinks weekly or does the lack of self control make one a drunkard.After all its many people's dream that after getting a job they would work hard on the weekdays and enjoy in every sense on the weekends."Work Hard and Party Harder" as our Indian Liquor Baron would say. moreover I do not know why am I going to post it, hell this is no blogging stuff this is a diary  sorta....Lot of confusion in my head. Hope it gets clear in the near future.
PS:The situation might not be actually that grim as it seems .

Friday, September 3, 2010

Cinematic Addictions Part THREE



Well as promised in my earlier post I am back with a new set of movies which I have seen recently(:P) as I continue my awesome lifestyle of work,sleep,eat and movies.I know I know people out there are feeling jealous but there are lot of things you need to sacrifice for such a morbid ,glut-tonic ,hapless,shameless living.Now Now I am drifting away from what I intend to write about...one of my favorite pastimes...MOVIES!!!
Alert!!!My weekend lifestyle is different with other sorts of pleasures taking the front seat notably watching Arsenal over the tube.
So here goes another fresh list of movies.Kindly do your research before you try to watch them..... remember your taste is unique.

1)12 Angry men---Well i started watching the movie at 1 o clock at night feeling sleepy.I was wide awake within 30 mins and when i finished around 2:30 AM in the morning,only the movie was hovering in my mind.In my street lingo I would describe it as "ulti".Just three sets.a courtroom,a washroom and the jury room(where the action takes place for 95% ).Nothing but 12 juries discussing on a case.Riveting.Watch it!!!!

2)21 grams:Well I have to admit I was a bit disappointed after watching this movie.Way too slow for my taste.Its non linear style of story telling was not as good as Memento.

3)Eternal Sunshine of the  spotless mind:Well what can I say .After watching this movie i can safely say Jim Carrey is no way inferior to our Johnny Depp.Along with one of my favorite actresses Kate Winslet they take this unusual love story to greater heights.Surely a one to catch.

4)Gangs of New York:Well what can I say when you have a ensemble cast of Danny Day Lewis,Leonardo Di Caprio and Cameron Diaz with the directorial baton in the able hands of Martin Scorsese fireworks are bound to fly.From the opening Scottish war theme to the ultimate climax this is one flawless movie.Have a taste for period dramas...go for it!!!!

5)Heartbreakers: I will end today's list with a con movie.A comedy in that.Mother and daughter duo of Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love Hewitt play with men's heart for money.A time pass...nothing more than that.Actually watched the movie for Weaver as my admiration for her skyrocketed after watching the Alien Series.What a Woman!!

I will end today by admitting a fact that in between there was 1 movie which i sat to watch but could not finish.
Scott Pilgrim vs the World.I have only 1 thing to say,either the movie is dumb or I ...Chose carefully!!!!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Cinematic Addiction-Part II

This turns out to be the second consecutive article on my adventures with various movies(sometimes misadventures too!)The addiction seems to be taking a more vice grip on my mind as the days goes by and I would take the opportunity to rattle out some more movies which has been viewed in the recent times.
Please note this is not a movie guide or even a review show.I am just jotting down the amount of movies(a whole lot crap) I have been watching so that one day in the future i would remind myself of those days where I frittered my my valuable time.Enough of the heavy talk and so here we go!!!!!!!!

1)Prince of Persia:Similar to Lara Croft series another video to big screen adaption but this one was more inclined to the Mummy genre.Unfortunately the buck stops there as the movie is neither good or funny.A huge disappointment to say the least.

2)Scorched:Now this is a cute bank heist movie.A little bit of digging on the net gave me the information that thuis movie earned a measly $8000 on an investment of $8 million from the box office!!!A total and complete disaster.But the movie itself was not that bad.Its a nice watch on a lazy weekend when you have nothing else to do.Hopeless people like me should definitely give it a try,couple of grunts and chuckles are guaranteed.

3)Shaun of the Dead:A rip off/Caricature of the Romero's Zombie Hit "Dawn of the Dead" this is yet another wacko British comedy.The smartness comes with the dumbness and thats the magic of the movie.People with a dry sense of humor can try it out ...worth it.

4)Shutter(Thai):Now this is a really smart horror movie.Even though the horror quotient is nowhere near the Japanese flicks this one has a solid storyline albeit a bit Bollywoodish and a really good ending.Horror Buffs do watch it!!!

5)The Ghost Writer:Now this is only the 2nd movie I have watched of Roman Polanski after The Pianist and wow! he is good.A very tight script with some excellent performances elevates this Political drama.

Well If anyone out there in the Blogosphere follows me and thinks I am wasting my time writing such utter rubbish,do contact me and convey your message.That would be Heartwarming.Rock the world  and see you later .

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Cinematic Addiction



In Yesterday's I had given a hint on my future posts.Well I am suffering from a serious addiction--Movies.Its almost become a habit to watch at least 1 movie per day whether I have office or not.I really hope i grow out of it but a cure for this plague is nowhere near my sight.So I take this opportunity to share some of the movies residing in my Laptop,hoping against hope someone else catches this contagious illness(Just jokin!)

A Clockwork Orange----Said to be second most disturbing movie of all time.Directed by the legendary Stanley Kubrick,just caught some snaps,full of violence and nudity...still not sure of the plot expecting it to be of an abstract one!!!

Chalo Lets Go(Bengali)----A movie made by one of my favourite directors Anjan Dutta.This movie follows the experience of a touring party .The movie has an ensemble cast and some wonderful witty dialogues.It really challenges the psyche in you,throws at us the wierdness of the human within us.A must watch is all I can say!!!

Dark City---How much this movie influenced me is reflected by the stand-alone post I wrote on it.You can go through it again here.

Invictus:The movie i watched yesterday.Yet another small albiet bright gem by Clint Eastwood.The movie was no doubt an excellent one but everything got overshadowed by Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela...what an Actor!!!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail-I am a huge fan of British Comedies and firmly believe no one can comedies the like our erstwhile rulers do.A unapologetic,tounge in cheek approach with straight face acting.This movie is utterly hilarious and sometimes you might just think what on this Earth these guys are doing.Plot includes a comcal(and satirical)look at the King arthur and his Knights and their Quest(so called) for the Holy grail.I can bet this movie would evoke extreme views.You would either hate it and stop watching it midway(or even before that) or laugh your guts out!(like me)



I will end here but promising to list more movies here as my list is pretty much endless!!!!!

Midnight Rambles......

Warning:Kindly do not create any controversies over this Pictha!
 
 
 
"It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log"

The starting lyrics of this Immortal Song was gifted to the World by the Beatles.Its now 1:20 AM in the morning and as I still slog it out in the office,waiting for the clock to show 2:30AM I cannot help but think that the first 2 lines of the song is actually mirroring my present situation.Yes I just can't wait to reach home and fall on the bed like a dead log!
Well I had  planned to write on something else today but my hands are not in tandem with my mind which still seems fresh and ready to bare its thoughts out.
Just to give an insight on one of my future topics---movie addiction...I was planning to write on the disease which has been on the process of gripping and crippling me over the last few weeks but I guess that would stay put for another day.
Well today has been a pretty strange day in Office.
I knew 2 of my Team mates would not come but AHOY! I was all alone!!!I never knew India took Onam sooo Seriously.
By the way too all my readers Happy Onam and all the Northies have a great Raksha Bandhan with your Sisters.India-Land of Festivals Rock!!OK,coming back to the original issue Just when I was starting from home another of my teammate messaged he would be working from home as he is Still recuperating fronm Illness.Dude! get well soon!
I came to office and saw holy S*** even the neighboring team is on leave!!!!!Well I thought I would have to ensure a nightmare today but I guess with God's grace lots and lots of work started to pour in and by the time I was able to breathe freely 7 hours have passed just like that.Sometimes I think being alone is a good thing...not sure the reason though!
Writing something in my blog is slowly becoming a habit and hopefully will soon turn into an obsession.The Greatest thing about blogging is that I am not answerable to anyone on anything.I will write what I feel and like,if someone has issues I am not apologetic!!
Not sure what else to write...was planning something but controlled as this is a public place.I keep the pervert stuffs in my mind!!!!Its a late good night from me .Hope everyone has a great...no no AWESOME Tuesday!!!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Pieces of advice!!


I had the fortune and time of going to Swami Pallananda's Lair today(Read by not going to office) and was enlightened by a discussion going on at his place.Even though I did not participate actively(I have a Oratory issue) I always try to be an avid listener.Many people come to Swamiji's place hoping to hear Soulful thoughts but unfortunately for them Swamiji iss more practical than the word itself!!!!!

As usual I would like to share some of the snapshots of what I gathered from the occasion.

    * Sometimes you tend to remember things meticulously(Simple example:electricity bills) which  others can't,do not think you are a control freak,its just that you are more disciplined in your way of life.Try to keep it up.
    * Any impending decision is like waiting to face a Guillotine.Face your Fear(read Guillotine) more often than not you will triumph.
    * Many People in this world think that by looking Coy and acting street smart you would be able to woo(read desirable) the other sex,do not fool yourself.Remember nothing but the truth triumphs.

PS:Here I would like to mention that even though the advices of Swamiji I am sharing with all seems easy to hear but actually to control your mind and follow it as much much more difficult.So I am a living example who fail to walk the talk ,so do not get disheartened if you find yourself in the same boat.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Pallananda's Gyaans Continues.....



Well its dead of the night and my creative juices are flowing overtime these days.Its seems Its the visions of the reverend Swami Pallananda who is hovering over my body and soul.So People like it or not Gyaans are continually flowing and here goes yet another series of advices(read them at your own risk!!!)

 1)Believe it or not Swamiji is computer savvy and told me this:Microsoft Products help to worsen your language spelling knowledge.You are no longer bothered if the spellings are correct or not ,you know Bill Gates is there to fix them.Stop being overdependent.
2)Compromise is the name of the game in all fields of life.Hate this or love this you gotcha accept this fact!!!
3)There is a curious sort of happiness and satisfaction in occupying the last seat (in class , bus etc) which those who have never sat there would not be able to comprehend.First benchers I thou PITY you.
4)There is and always should be an optimum level , a balance between Quality and Quantity.If one of the 2 outruns the other problems might just crop up.

LAST POINT OF THE DAY:There are exceptions to all rules....Thats Nature for you!!!

Till next time its Sayonara from me and my Swamiji.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Gyaans of Pallananda continues........



Hello People Swami Pallananda is back with some more Gyaans.
Its pretty early in the morning ...9:10AM to be exact but I thought why waste time while I can quickly write down what I had been thinking for some time now.I am not sure how others will react to what I write but yes whatever I write comes from the bottom of heart.So in a bit of a somber mood here I go with yet another round of precious Gyaans....

1)Being Unambitious is not a crime.Do not lose your sleep over it.Every man/Woman has his/her needs.One might be happy with Rs 10000 per month while for another 5 times that amount is not sufficient.

2)Many times You have heard that Luck is THE major factor behinds' one's success.Its Total BULLSHIT!
Lucky are those who work hard for their goals.Luck follows your Karma and not the other way round.

3)Do not keep any expectation from anyone.It would generally bring sorrow and heartbreak to you in the long run.

4)Its only after a few rounds of Alcohol do can you understand a person in complete.
So next time you want to know a person make him drunk suitable so that he/she starts blurting out his/her stories.Remember You have to join the other person in the drinking binge as that would be comforting for him/her and would easily open up to you .


PS:Kindly take these instructions with a pinch(a rather large one) of salt.

Pallananda signs off for now by wishing every Indian a very Happy Independence Day!!!!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dark City(1998).....a comparison with the Matrix!!!



This post is not a review of a movie but just some tid bits of various thoughts which swiveled around my minuscule brain after watching a movie.
The Movie which I am referring is Dark City
OK OK I understand people frowning and asking now which crap movie is this.
For some introductions this movie was a small budget Hollywood movie made in 1998 and it was NOT a commercial success.
Why the movie interested me was its uncanny story line and its more than coincidental similarities with a movie which released a year later ...The Matrix
The basic story of the movie goes like this.
A man wakes up from sleep not remembering anything.There are some bald guys in black suits who are trying to kill him and moreover he is being chased by a detective for murder.Finally he comes to know in course that he no longer lives in Earth but a galactic facility ruled by parasites in the guise of humans who has been interchanging the memories of their captured prisoners for the quest of the ultimate-Human Soul.How our protagonist finally overcomes these aliens in human suits and becomes the destiny Maker of the City forms the crux of the Story.

PS:Watch out for a young and extremely sweet Jennifer Connolly in the movie as the Protagonist's wife.

Now here goes the list of uncanny similarities I found which the Wachowski Brothers' Masterpiece while watching the Movie.

1)In Matrix machines have taken control over our mind and we live in a false reality.In Dark City the memories of the people are regularly interchanged so as to give them a false sense of identity. So one day you are a Hotel receptionist and the next day a book store owner.
2)The protagonist has come to behold similar powers like that of his adversaries much like Neo in Matrix.
3)In Matrix Lawrence Fishbourne knows the truth and helps Neo find his true destiny.Here a Doctor who was colluding with the Aliens helps our Hero to find his.
4)In Matrix the sunlight was shielded by the machines to enter the Earth,the Aliens have ensured no light enters their City(they cannot stand light) this the name Dark City.
5)In the climax Neo defeats Mr Smith to destroy the false reality AKA the Matrix.In Dark City the Hero kills all his enemies and changes the City and ensures there is "Day" time in the city.

I could go on and on with more points but these definitely were the most striking ones.

One Trivia before I close this post is shooting for both the movies took place at Fox Studios in Sydney!!!! Surprised huh?

Anyways I would recommend all the Science Fiction buffs to grab a DVD of it and watch it.Highly recommended.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Bored at office......



Time:10:37PM IST 6th of August Year of the Lord 2010,Friday.
Well the only word I can see from the above line is the last one.
To make matters clear i will shove out(apparently English grammar says shove in but i use it the other way being an iconoclast albeit an optimum one) some endearing ,heart wrenching facts that I facing now:

1)Today in the Friday night   people...Its Friday
2)All my mates in the project team are enjoying(some officially by taking leaves and some by "Working from home")
3)Even though there are some work to be done I am in no mood to work even though i have to stay put in office till 2 in the morning.

In Office Jargon we have something like Monday blues.
Those not familiar with it I will elucidate it:Monday blues simply means not wanting to go to office/coming to office and not wanting to work after two days of blissful peace(whichever way who barter for peace)
Just bristling through the net for something for Friday i got some tasty varieties like Friday Feelings to Friday Hues...only God knows in which situation I am in.

Well I will stop here and ask for the apology of all the people who took out their precious time to read through the above gibberish.At least I will tend to believe you offered some sympathy to me.
Well wishing you all a great weekend and a fantastic Monday blues!!!!

Sporting Events and India...


The Biggest fiasco of this year for our nation is the preparation of the Commonwealth games scheduled to be held later this year in New Delhi.Already lots and lots of scams are pouring out of the closet which were secretly guarded by the politicians and bureaucrats.Imagine getting treadmills on rent for 10 lakhs per month when they could have been bought for less than that.
Jesus!!!
These guys even can't dupe us properly.Why can't they control themselves and limit to some sense while doing such henious acts...guess their education or the aparent lack of it speaks volumes through these stuffs.
Today while going through the online version of India today I was lucky enough to bump into one of their archived articles.
Guess what the topic was "82' Asiad,New Delhi".Here is the link for your further readings.
82' Delhi Asian Games Preparation--A report
Well I will put up a few facts which came across my mind while going through the article
So here it goes.

1)Both in 82 as well as now India were unprepared till the deadline day.
2)Sports Association was still run by politicians then.
3)Lot of infrastructure went into our capital city,changing its face on both the occassions.
4)Escalation of the budget is part and parcel of the game.

The only difference I found was that unlike this time they were no faulty constructions and the games itself was a huge success.
Well I do sincerely hope the latter comes true (Yes,Mr.Mani Shankar I am supporting the games and so should you as it is now inevitable)

Please join me and lets pray that the Commonwealth Games turn out to be a resounding success.

Till next time  its Astalavista children!!!!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Pallananda's Gyaan Time!!!

Swamiji deeeeep in thoughts!!!!



Many people have been telling that I have become old and giving sermons like a septuagenarian.
Well I finally made up some gyaan and doling these priceless Gyaans for free for the Mango people!!!!
So here you go....delve in them they have deeper meanings than you actually think!!!!

ADVICES

1)The best way to shirk responsibility is to avoid one and then meekly say sorry.Works most of the time.
  Warning:This is not applicable to core responsibilities.
 
2)Never fall for a girl/boy just because she/he is being nice to you,always remember good people will be nice to others and that does not mean she/he loves the other person.

3)This one is in Bengali:"Sabii Maya" meaning all the things in this world are an illusion,so don't run after materialistic needs ONLY!!!

4)Money can buy you attention but not relationships.

5)Sometimes loosen yourself,drop your hair and do wild things,it will clear your mind and help you to face the mundane life yet again!!!

Till next time this is Chao` from Swami Pallananda!!!!AYUSHMAN BHAVAH!!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Scylla and Charybdis

Just read about an old Greek Mythology story..so wanted to share it.

In Greek mythology, Scylla and Charybdis were a pair of monsters who lived on opposite ends of the Strait of Messina between Italy and Sicily Scylla was originally a sea nymph who was loved by the sea god Poseidon*. Out of jealousy, Poseidon's wife Amphitrite poisoned the waters in which Scylla bathed. This turned Scylla into a six-headed beast with three rows of sharp teeth in each head. When ships passed close by her, she struck out to grab and eat unwary sailors.

Charybdis was also a sea nymph, as well as the daughter of Poseidon. Zeus* transformed her into a dangerous whirlpool across the strait from Scylla. Ships sailing the strait were almost certain to be destroyed by one of the monsters.

nymph minor goddess of nature, usually represented as young and beautiful

epic long poem about legendary or historical heroes, written in a grand style

In the Greek epic the Odyssey], the hero Odysseus lost his ship in Charybdis, but he managed to save himself by clinging to a tree overhanging the water. Later the whirlpool spat up the ship, and Odysseus dropped to safety on its deck. The legend of the two monsters gave birth to the phrase "between Scylla and Charybdis," meaning a situation in which one has to choose between two equally unattractive options.

Read more: Scylla and Charybdis - Myth Encyclopedia - mythology, Greek, god, legend, names, tree, hero

http://www.mythencyclopedia.com/Sa-Sp/Scylla-and-Charybdis.html#ixzz0utePIgrA

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Three Idiots New Ending

Again I got this through Facebook,pretty hilarious ..brilliant parody of the never ending crime series CID




New Ending to 3 IDIOTS :

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call the world famous CID.

ACP: Ohh MY GODD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya...campus ko acchi tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !! (Shaking his finger)

(After searchin the campus like a pair of buffoons...Abhijeet and Daya find out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years back in the campus...)

Abhijeet: Sir, Mamla Gadbad hai...Yaha kisi joy naam ke student NE aatma-hatya ki thi 4 saal pehle. Lagta hai woh aatma hatya nahi...khoon tha...aur shayad khooni yeh rancho hi hoga !!!

ACP: OHH MY GODD !!!

ACP: Yeh joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikalo...aur use forensic lab me leke aao...Dr. Salunkhe zarur koi na koi baat ughalva denge iss murde aadmi se !!

(after fredricks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of joy...and the next scene is of the forensic lab)

Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahot jaldi laash laaye tum...isse kuch bulvana mushkil hoga...lekin tum tension mat lo...tum Dr. Salunkhe ke lab se khali haat nahi jaoge..koi na koi raaz toh pata chal hi jayega

(after playin with some colour changing liquids)

Dr. Salunkhe : BOSS...tumne kaha isski maut suicide se hui hai...main kehta hu..iska khoon hua hai !!

ACP: Salunkhe !!! Mazaak ka waqt nahi hai !!...yeh kaise ho sakta hai??

Salunkhe: BOSS...sab kuch mumkin hai !! Yeh dekho...(shows him his star-trek type computer and does some really fast typing)

ACP: OHH MY GODD !! (still shaking his finger)....toh phir yeh baat hamein kisi NE batayi kyu nahi ??...ek kaam karo...uss principal ko yahaan leke aao bureau me...AB kya sach hai..wahi hamein batayega !!

(virus is brought to the bureau)

Virus: Sssir, mujhe yahaan kyun bulaya hai...Maine kuch nahi kiya

Abhijeet: sach sach batao...uss raat campus me kya hua tha???

Virus: sssir, main sssach bol raha hu...mujhe kuch nahi pata hai??

(daya gives him his special CHAMAAAT !!!)

Daya: Ab yaad aaya kuch???

Virus: Haan Sir, sab yaad AA gaya...Bata ta hu...sab Bata ta hu !

Fredricks: (constipated look)..sir.. daya sir ke chamaat me toh jaadu hai...iska 'sssss' kehna band ho gaya

ACP: Fredricks..chup raho !!

Virus: uss raat sab logo NE gay party ki thi....sab log apni underwear me campus me ghoom rahe the....main bhi tha...lekin mere saath koi flirt hi nahi kar raha tha...isliye main bahot gusse me tha...phir Joy aaya aur usne mujhe uska helicopter dikhaya...Maine uska helicopter gutter me fek diya..toh woh rote rote apne room me chale gaya. Aur next din humne dekha toh uska murder ho gaya tha...lekin aap please yeh baat kisi se boliye mat...college ki badnaami ho jayegi...

ACP: hum kisi ko nahi batayenge... tum hamare saath co-operate karo

(virus leaves)

ACP: yahaan kuch toh gadbad hai daya....aisa kaise ho sakta hai ki campus me khoon ho gaya aur kisi NE CID ko bulaya hi nahin??

Abhijeet: sir shayad logo ko pata hai...ki pehle police ko bulana chaiye...CID ko nahi !!

ACP: Aur yeh kaise hua ki khooni campus me AA gaya..aur campus se khoon kar ke nikal gaya??

Vivek : Sir, shayad yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki khooni koi student hi ho?

ACP: haan vivek...kuch bhi ho sakta hai...kuch bhi (shaking finger)..ek kaam karo abhijeet...phir se campus me chalte hain...aur acchi tarah se check karte hain...yahaan daal me kuch kaala hai !!

Abhijeet: sir daal me kala nahi...puri daal mere jaisi kaali hi hai !!

(they reach the campus in their ol' faithful qualis which changes colour every episode...but the number plate is still the same...and daya slams the breaks....SCCHRREEE ECH !!)

ACP: Abhijeet, Vivek tum pura campus CHECK KARO....Daya tum iss campus ke saare DARWAAZE TOD DO !!....Fredricks. ..tum sab logo ko tumhare jokes se entertain karo...aur main yahaan baith ke apni ungli hilata hu....chalo sab apne apne kaam pe lag jaao !!

(after checking the campus)

Vivek: Sir, yahaan aiye....yeh dekho...yeh ek chatur naam ke ladke ki diary mili hai sir...isme likha hai ki woh rancho aur rancho ek dusre ke dushman the...aur woh rancho se badla Lena chahta tha !!

ACP : (shaking finger...as usual)...OHH MY GODD !!! AB yeh Chatur kaun hai...aur iske room se itni baas kyun AA rahi hai !!...Good work vivek !!...iss evidence ko forensic lab Le jao !

Abhijeet: Haain !!! Sir, dheere dheere sab pata chal raha hai...shayad se iss chatur NE hi joy ka khoon kiya hoga !! Aur rancho kahaan gaya...usse hi pata hoga !!

ACP: Toh bulao iss Chatur ko Bureau mein...isse hi pooch ke dekhte hain !!

(chatur in interrogation)

ACP: Rancho kahaan hai ??

Chatur : I Don't Know Sir !! Mujhe nahi pata !!

Abhijeet: Dekho Sach Sach Batao !! Hamein yeh diary mili hai tumhare room se...isme saaf saaf likha hai ki tumhein rancho se jalan thi

Chatur : (over-acting) ...mujhe nahi pata hai sir !! maine kuch nai kiya hai

(Daya gives ONE TIGHT SLAP and the chair spins)

Chatur: Haan haan...maine hi khoon kiya tha joy ka...kyonki usne mechanical helicopter banaya tha project me...aur maine sirf paper ka rocket banaya tha....boo hoo hoo !! Lekin phir woh kambakht Rancho aa gaya...usne mujhe dekh liya tha...isliye maine usko bhi gayab kar diya

ACP: waah...kya plan banaya tha...lekin afsos tum CID ke saamne kamiyaab nahi ho paaye...ab banate rehna plan...JAIL me...Tumhe toh FAASI hogi FAASI !!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Trip to Heaven/Sunil Gangopadhyay

Yudhishthir reached the top of Mount Mahendra and stopped. Above him there was nothing but the sky . A man's solitude is all the more acute under a large sky like this. Down, along the trail lay the bodies of his wife and four brothers. Yudhishthir did not look back another time. His companion, the dog, was a little restless. Yudhishthir gave him a piece of a pishtak cake from his sack and told him to wait.

Shortly afterward a fiery chariot descended from the sky. Yudhishthir bowed to greet the astronaut who stepped out of it. "Yudhishthir, dear boy, come", the astronaut said. "Although you are a common earthling, for your patience and goodness you have been selected to travel to the outer space without leaving your body."

"Take this dog in please", said Yudhishthir.

The astronaut raised his brows in mild surprise. "This canine? But why?"

"Because, that, is my wish." Yudhishtir said politely but resolutely.

The astronaut thought for a moment before breaking into a smile. "I understand", he said. "Yudhishthir, you truly are an intelligent man. You want to test our spaceship to see if it is safe for a creature of Earth. No living man has had a ride in this spaceship before. Is this why you brought this dog along on such a long journey?"

"You are quite right", said Yudhishthir. "I never tell a lie. I brought him along to relieve myself of some doubts. I had to throw a pishtak piece at him every now and then to make him stay with me all the way."

Not wasting another word, the astronaut took the dog inside the spaceship and flew into outer space while Yudhishthir watched the skies.

The spaceship returned an hour later and the dog jumped out of it wagging his tail. Yudhishthir gave the remaining pieces of pishtak from his sack to the dog. "Run along now", he said. "You have been very useful to me and I give you this boon. From now on dogs will be kept by men as pets."

The astronaut put a transparent helmet on Yudhishthir's head and asked if Yudhishthir had any trouble breathing in it.

"No", said Yudhishthir.

"Then come."

The heavenly chariot took off with Yudhishthir. For the last time, Yudhishthir looked at Earth and felt a sadness come upon him. Nearly all his friends and relatives were dead, yet Earth had been a dear place.

"You may sleep a little." The astronaut said. "It will be a while before we reach our destination."

"May never get another opportunity to see the lovely view outside. Why deny me this pleasure?", said Yudhishthir.

"That is right. Dear boy, you are the first astronaut from Earth. No one was given this opportunity before. Because of your good deeds we did not want you to have to go through the transition of death. Aren't you afraid?"

"Afraid? Why should I be afraid?"

"At the very least because this planet called Heaven is completely unknown to you."

"Why should it be completely unknown to me? My ancestors are all there. They have composed hymns in its praise. I have made many sacrifices and followed the path of dharma in my own life so that I could go to Heaven one day. Why should I be afraid to go there?"

"Very good. We'll see."

"Thank you for honoring me with the title of the first astronaut, but I would like to humbly point out that my ancestor king Pururava had in fact come back to Earth after visiting Heaven. Other similar cases are known."

"Some people spread false stories like these. No one was brought here before you. Even you are being taken only for a special experiment."

"Experiment?"

"Yes, a scientific experiment. This is a rather complex subject and you will not understand all of it. Nevertheless, let me, briefly, explain. The body is matter and the soul is energy. We know how to convert matter into energy and vice versa - a technology that is still unknown to earthlings. We bring the souls of selected humans to Heaven after they die. Their bodies are then recovered by converting energy to matter. However, we erase bad traits like greed, obsession and violence from their minds. We are now trying to accomplish the same while keeping the body intact and circumventing the need to go through the trial of death."

Yudhishthir was a little offended. When he spoke, it was with some pride. "Venerable God", he said, "no one had spotted a trace of a weakness like greed, obsession or avarice in me even when I was on Earth."

"Precisely why you have been selected. However, you are not as devoid of weaknesses as you think. The planet Earth itself has a bad influence. Indeed, I don't like to come here even for a short visit. Vishnu does drop by now and then. He likes the short girls here a lot. Haven't you noticed how he picks a beautiful midget to marry every time he visits Earth?"

Yudhishthir refrained from making a comment on the exploits of the Gods. He just sat there with his chin down.

The spaceship was slowing down. "In a short while we will land on a satellite called Hell for a quick break", the astronaut said. "I hope you won't want to stay there forever. Some people do find the place more attractive than Heaven."

Yudhishthir did not even get off the spacecraft at Hell. He also kept his eyes tightly shut. His ears were nearly going deaf from the screams of countless people. He had to cover his ears with his hands. Yet he seemed to recognize some familiar voices.

It was a short flight from Hell to Heaven. "My duties end here", the astronaut said after they had arrived in Heaven. "From here you’ll be taken over by other specialists. Not much is going to happen today though. You may go anywhere you want. Also remember, you may consider every home as your own. There is food in every house. You may take any food and drink as if they belonged to you. You may also ask any woman to be your consort.

Yudhishthir came out of the rocket station and began to walk. He had nowhere to go and therefore no fear of getting lost. All the roads were straight; no maze of lanes and by-lanes to deal with. The roads were lined with trees having blue leaves. Yudhishthir realized why the favorite color of the Gods was blue. Blue reigned everywhere. Yudhishthir was more used to seeing green and his eyes hurt a little.

Yudhishthir was very eager to meet friends and relatives. He wanted to meet grandfather Bhishma in particular. In times of crisis he always sought Bishma's advice. It would be wise to let the patriarch bring him up to date on Heaven's current affairs.

However he spotted Duryodhan and Karna instead. They were seated nearby on a stone bench under a large tree. Yudhishthir was a little taken aback. He also felt a pang of regret. So they are already enjoying life in Heaven, he thought. Had his own brothers and the adorable Draupadi not arrived yet?

Their eyes had not met yet. Yudhishthir thought he would avoid the two men and take another side of the road. But the thought itself startled him. Was he afraid of them? Or was it jealousy? Was it showing?

Quickly he approached them and touched Karna's feet. He addressed Duryodhan affectionately and asked, "Brother, how is the pain in your thighs?"

Duryodhan and Karna were also surprised to see Yudhishthir. "Oh it's Dharmaraj", Duryodhan said at last. "So you are here? Very good. The pain is all gone. No one feels any pain here. It's a very healthful place."

Karna stared silently at Yudhishthir. Yudhishthir could feel his heart beating. Although Karna and he were brothers born of the same womb, he had never actually spoken to him directly. In the battle of Kurukshetra Karna had once spared his life. Yudhishthir was not aware then that Karna was his elder brother and had freely hurled abuses at him.

Yudhishthir kneeled down and worshipped Karna's feet before asking, "How are you, elder brother?"

Karna was known to be arrogant and rude, but now his voice was surprisingly soft. He took the scent of Yudhishthir's head and said, "Younger brother, I am most delighted to see you. You were the pride of Earth and now the Heaven is honored to have you."

"Dharmaraj, have you eaten?" Asked Duryodhan. "You started very early and it was a long uphill journey. We were watching you climb on a television."

Karna pointed with his right hand. "There is a restaurant there, if you want to eat."

"Eat anything you want", Duryodhan said excitedly. You haven't tasted anything like the food here. All at no charge."

"You must be tired from all the climbing", said Karna. "You may go inside any of the houses to rest."

"Just make a telephone call to the work center if you need a girl to sleep with or to give you a massage", Duryodhan added. "You can get anyone you desire."

"But not Urvashi", Karna broke in with a smile. "She is the most beautiful of all and possesses eternal youth - but we the men of the Surya dynasty can not have her. She claims to be our grandmother because she had lived with our ancestor Pururava as his wife for a brief period."

Yudhishthir was not particularly hungry or thirsty. He also did not feel a great desire for women. All he wanted was to see friends and relatives.

"I will take your leave and meet grandfather Bhishma first", he said.

"Do that", said Duryodhan. "Grandfather is having a ball. He doesn't need to be a celibate any longer. People do not get married here. Nor are babies born. So he doesn't have to abide by his vows of celibacy anymore."

"Where can I find him?"

"Just look around, you'll find him. We are waiting here for Yagyaseni. Hear that she'll be coming today."

Yudhishthir was taken completely by surprise. So Draupadi was coming. But that was right! The sweet smiling daughter of king Drupad certainly deserved a place in Heaven.

"Must plead my case before others ask her to fulfil their desires", said Duryodhan. "I have always desired her. In fact I had even won her at gambling, but father forced me to give her back to you. I even fought this big war for her. But now I have no hard feelings for anybody. I will lovingly have the beautiful Draupadi sit on my lap."

Yudhishthir felt like he had cuts all over his body and someone was sprinkling salt on them. He felt like running away. This was not the Heaven he wanted. He would also stop Draupadi from coming here.

Duryodhan would have gone on like this but his gaze fell upon Karna and he stopped. He bit his tongue and boxed his own ears to show how ashamed he was. "No, no, I can not be the first. I am second", he said. "The great Karna has the first claim over Draupadi. None of us could hit the bull’s eye at the Swayamvar contest at king Drupad's palace. But it would have been child's play for Karna, the great archer. He could have won the contest and taken Draupadi long before Arjun had his turn. But the opportunity was denied to him. He is the son of Surya himself and the queen mother Kunti is his mother. Yet this great kshatriya was called the son of a horse-keeper and turned out of the palace in shame. That lie would end today. Lies have no place in Heaven."

Karna said nothing and only kept smiling. Yudhishthir was too stunned to speak. His head was totally muddled. Would Draupadi, for whom he and his four brothers had endured so many hardships, now be the playmate of the dastardly Duryodhan! And Karna? Would he lust after the wife of his younger brothers!

Yudhishthir could not stand there any longer. He took his leave hurriedly after a few polite words. He was on the verge of losing his temper. Or he might have said that Krishnaa would not be coming today, she was not dead yet. It was a lie. But maybe not an outright one. One of Draupadi's names was Krishnaa, but there were other women by that name too. The wife of the charioteer Vaahilak was also Krishnaa and she was certainly alive. This would be a re-enactment of the 'Ashwaththaamaa, the elephant' incident. Would he have to take recourse to deceit even in Heaven!

However Yudhishthir could not go very far. Something was pulling him back like a magnet. Reunion with grandfather and other relatives could wait. Yudhishthir hid behind a tree. If only he could warn Draupadi in advance.

His big hope was that Bhim or Arjun would arrive before Draupadi. That would change everything. It would hardly be possible for Duryodhan and Karna to snatch Draupadi away from Bhim and Arjun. But what if they did not come before Draupadi? Arjun, especially, always had to be too chivalrous. When the chariot to Heaven pulled up at Hell's gates Arjun would probably say, "Ladies first. Draupadi goes before us."

Yudhishthir realized he was simply jealous. He could not imagine being tested on his first day like this. He was not only jealous, on his first day in Heaven he was also thinking of war. He was already scheming to make Bhim and Arjun fight Duryodhan and Karna over Draupadi. What a shame! Yudhishthir was filled with remorse. He sat down under the tree and closed his eyes to rid his mind of impure thoughts.

However he could not concentrate. He was haunted by Draupadi's face. He had not tried to help Draupadi when she fell down by the trail while climbing the mountain. Who knows how much pain the roadside rocks had inflicted on the princess’ delicate body? Just before she died Draupadi had asked him, "My Lord, what sin have I committed to deserve a death like this?" "You ought to have treated your five husbands equally", Yudhishthir had told her. "But you loved Arjun more than the rest."

Was his tone a little sarcastic when he said this? He had always known that Draupadi loved Arjun more - but he never said anything. It was like a thorn in his heart. Was he jealous of Arjun too? No, no, that was impossible. Arjun was the most dear to him. The most? No, not more than Draupadi. He had tried very hard to win her heart. However Draupadi was always more impressed by physical strength and valor. Women had this weakness. His knowledge of scriptures, his righteousness - all of that had been more or less ignored by Draupadi. When Vyasdev had asked the five brothers to have clear rules for sharing Draupadi so that there would be no disputes: one day for each brother, while the others would stay away - Yudhishthir had picked Sunday for himself. No duties of the state had to be performed on Sundays - the whole day could be spent in leisure. He had Draupadi for himself the entire day. On their turns with Draupadi his brothers had to perform administrative work which kept them away for at least a part of the day. Once Arjun had accidentally entered a room where he was making love to Draupadi. Arjun had accepted a year's exile as punishment. Though Yudhishthir had pretended to dissuade Arjun, in his heart he was a little glad. That year he could have a little more of Draupadi.

Yudhishthir broke out of his reverie all at once. A familiar voice. He raised his eyes and spotted Draupadi coming. Alone. Duryodhan and Karna had risen to greet her. Yudhishthir gesticulated wildly to make her come toward him instead. But Draupadi did not even notice him. She looked more beautiful than ever before and bore no signs of aging at all. Her skin was silky smooth, the luxurious hair reaching to her waist. Her breasts were two perfectly round spheres. Her waist was as thin as that of a lioness. Her hips were heavy and wide. Her teeth were so beautiful that everything seemed to light up when she smiled. Her lips were full like ripe grapes.

Yudhishthir watched Karna and Duryodhan approach Draupadi with quick steps. Karna was saying, "The land of the Gods is honored today to have you, the radiant Draupadi. We have been waiting eagerly for you. I am enamoured by the aura of your beauty. I have not come across a bewitching woman like you in the two lives I spent on Earth and in Heaven."

Draupadi smiled sweetly and said, "Your words are like honey to my ears, the king of warriors Karna. I am thrilled to be standing near a powerful man like you."

"Can't you see me, Yagyaseni?", retorted Duryodhan. "I am equally eager for you."

"How can I not notice you, dear friend?", said Draupadi. "How can a woman fail to notice a handsome smiling face like yours?"

Yudhishthir was shocked. Why was Draupadi flirting with her born enemies? Couldn't she have passed them by in disgust?

No sooner had he thought this that he was reminded of the words of the astronaut God. Duryodhan, Karna, Draupadi - all three had been brought to Heaven after death. All traces of anger, hatred and violence have been wiped from their minds. They will remain immersed forever in happiness and pleasures of the body.

"Daughter of Drupad, we are impatient with desire for you." Said Duryodhan. "One day I had shown you my thighs in the court and told you that you would have to sit on them. I was unsuccessful then. But the longing is still there. Will you now grace me by sitting on my lap?"

"With pleasure." Said Draupadi. "Right now if you want."

"Not right now", said Duryodhan. "I will wait for you. The greatest of all men Karna too begs your company. Who does not know that you have loved and desired him for so long. I will wait - you may enjoy carnal pleasures with Karna for as long as you wish. A woman does not become a used object in Heaven. Here a woman and the elixir of life are one and the same."

Draupadi turned toward Karna and said with a deep love, "Karna, the son of Surya, see how the very sight of you makes me tingle all over. I have always secretly wanted you. Take me."

With this Draupadi flung herself at Karna's broad chest. She pressed her breasts hard against Karna's body and lifted her eager face upwards. Then Karna's mouth sank into her full and ripe grape-like lips.

Yudhishthir could watch no more. He covered his eyes. What a great defeat for him after coming to Heaven! He could not restrain himself any longer. His body was shaking with fury, his heart was burning with rage. Had the Gods seen him like this? He could not care less.

Like a mere mortal man of Earth, tears began to fall from Yudhishthir's eyes


PS:I found this story in Facebook,so kindly don't hold me in contempt of court!!!!